Bro-Peds Piss Us Off

3 09 2008

This one may not have reached your hood yet, but just like skinny jeans and graphic T’s its on its way. San Frooklyn has been overrun recently by¬†gangs of loud, stupid-looking moto-cycles ridden by yipster trash on their way to the organic coffee house. Yes these Bros are riding Mopeds, those half-bike half-motorcycle hybrids that scream you’re an idiot.

We’re sure that when Ripcord Q. Hipster jumps on his Puch Maxi moped he instantly believes that this little act is their big step towards curbing climate change! Unfortunately these sores upon our roads are unsafe (for other drivers and cyclists, the Hipsters are on their own) and pollute especially noxious gases that don’t pass emissions standards. Therefore its likely that instead of just riding a motorcycle like real people these greenies are actually doing more damage to the environment than those capitalist pigs they so admonish. “But it has pedals! I can ride it like a bicycle with NO emissions!” Riiiiiight, you’re going to ride that 400 pound piece of crap all over town?

So next time you see one of these pieces of crap locked to a parking meter, be sure to kick it over and do mother earth some good.