EmoBro, Oh No!

28 05 2008

Ass tight black jeans, check. Bullet For My Valentine on the Pod, check. Sour fucking attitude, check. Ravendeath Deep Night eyeliner, check. Portfolio of shitty art, check.

What is it with this bro-trend that has swept over our nations high schools, colleges and coffeehouses? These emo-bros just can’t seem to put shit in perspective. Is life so terrible that every ounce of your existence must reflect the fact that you hate your dad because he wanted you to watch football with him? Sack up, bro, and get with the fucking program. There are plenty of ways to be an individual in this world and express yourself without forcing everyone within ten feet of you to down a bottle of Prozac.

Let’s face it, if you don’t straighten this shit out by the time you graduate you’re gonna have some things to really cry about like being homeless or going without your daily mochaccino from the ‘bucks.

 We don’t mean to sound like your dad, really, but sometimes he has a point.