If Beyonce Were a Bro…

12 02 2009

beyonce8Some of you may remember the fad of call and response hip-hop from the late 90’s, one of the best examples was TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’ followed up in even stronger fashion by their eminences the Sporty Thievz with ‘No Pigeons.’ Well we are fortunate that yet another fantastic spoof of a stupid pop song has emerged to while the day away at work. Our friends at College Humor have created one of the best music videos of the year. The only weird thing about this, however, is that the sadness of bro-dom sort of finally dawns when you see the female version in real life. Somehow its all fun and games to be a bro when you’re a lazy slob of a man, but the deeper darker side emerges when projected onto the female visage. Enjoy.

EmoBro, Oh No!

28 05 2008

Ass tight black jeans, check. Bullet For My Valentine on the Pod, check. Sour fucking attitude, check. Ravendeath Deep Night eyeliner, check. Portfolio of shitty art, check.

What is it with this bro-trend that has swept over our nations high schools, colleges and coffeehouses? These emo-bros just can’t seem to put shit in perspective. Is life so terrible that every ounce of your existence must reflect the fact that you hate your dad because he wanted you to watch football with him? Sack up, bro, and get with the fucking program. There are plenty of ways to be an individual in this world and express yourself without forcing everyone within ten feet of you to down a bottle of Prozac.

Let’s face it, if you don’t straighten this shit out by the time you graduate you’re gonna have some things to really cry about like being homeless or going without your daily mochaccino from the ‘bucks.

 We don’t mean to sound like your dad, really, but sometimes he has a point.