Nothing But Brocktails

3 09 2008

You’ve seen it many times, the group of graphic-t adorned young bucks bellying up to the bar with that one particular order in mind. It usually goes something like: “hey bro, I need 6 jaag-bombs for my boys, an RBV for me and a Vod Tonic for my lady. make em strong!” While we can all decry the poor taste involved in selecting these beverages, and even more strongly debate the merits of heart attack-in-a-glass, there is an unfortunate side effect emerging as a result of this widespread brohavior.

Yes, that’s right, your neighborhood corner bar has been taken over by the bromunity, they’ve fired all the bartenders, and now you have Katie and Starr tending bar to a bunch of morons. The bar is supposed to be whatever a patron needs on a given night, so we can’t lay blame at the proprietors feet for this tragedy. But we can implore our friends and bros to get more creative when ordering drinks. Because no one ever orders anything but Vodka and… these days, bartenders no longer need any skill or ability to create what used to be passionately referred to as ‘the cocktail’.

It is beyond us why bros are so happy to fork over 11 of their hardly-earned dollars for what amounts to about 10 seconds of effort and $0.25 of liquor, we can’t do much about the price but please just order a Gimlet! Order a Manhattan, a whiskey sour, an americano, a fizz, an old fashioned, even a¬†silly drink like a mai tai or colada¬†for god sakes but if you continue to only order the cliche three (jaag bomb, RBV, G/V&T/S) the art of the bar will be forever lost.

Sure we will always be able to find those magical few outposts of elixir heaven, but its just such a pain to have to trapse all over town to find a good cocktail. It’s even worse to run into the now-common comment from behind the bar that “we don’t make those” or “that takes too long” or “I don’t know how to make that”. You don’t know how to make a god-damn gimlet????? WTF. Supply and demand folks, simple as that, get some taste and the tenders will follow.

Get some ideas here and here.